Daring to Be Forever

I see you staring back every time I look in the mirror
So here I am blowing smoke in your face again and staring into my eyes
The ones that were dull and brown but yours were so full of life
So much like the sea, always the most beautiful green
I was so much younger then when I was content to
Live like I just wanted to breathe and let it be enough
But now I feel like my arms are always so empty and I want to
Hold you closer than you would ever let anyone else

I haven’t been drinking again. I promised you I would stop.
And I quit smoking yesterday, I threw away my last pack
But here in the mirror where your ocean eyes should be
There are just mine and they’re so bloodshot and red.
And you were right, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. You said
You wouldn’t hurt me but you would be hurt yourself
But it hurts me already when I cough and rub my eyes
And in my chest it just aches and aches and aches

I called you and listened to your answering machine
And I carried on the most wonderful conversation
Where you answered all my questions and we left no mysteries
Unsolved and you told me you loved me and I said the same
And I told you about all those other women, the ones I might have loved
The girl with the brightest blonde hair or the girl with the saddest grey eyes
The ones that were so much like the storms and the rain she loved
The one I could have kissed in the dark for everyone to see

And you said you forgave me you forgave me you forgave me
And you took the cigarette from my lips and the bottle from my fingers
And you smiled at me and you said you liked me better when I
Wasn’t killing myself with the weight of all my sorrows
And I said I was sorry I was sorry I was sorry
To everyone and you and I said I’d give them another chance
And I said goodbye and I let your machine beep in vain
Because I won’t dignify it with how I feel.

And to that dial tone I told you it was good to talk to you again
And I thanked you for helping me understand one more time
I said I’ll see you soon, won’t you smile for me then?
I’ll introduce you to my latest lover, she’s nothing like you.
And you said you forgave me you forgave me you forgave me
And I don’t need to apologize anymore, I have nothing to be sorry for
You understood what it was like to be young and in love and desperate
To be young and in love your whole life or even daring to be forever.